‘You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah’ movie review: The Sandlers deliver a heartfelt tribute to teenage friendship

A still from ‘You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah’
| Photo Credit: Netflix

Cementing itself as a classic for the teens of 2023, Netflix’s latest film, You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah is a snappy, coming-of-age. Helmed by the Sandler family, it speaks casually but earnestly to the beginning of teen-age, and the stark realisations that enlighten your friendships and relationships.

Sunny Sandler plays Stacy Friedman, who is fast approaching her bat mitzvah ceremony that would mark her transition into a teenager. Stacy has it planned out to the T. It’s an entirely different matter that she needs to get her dad Danny (Adam Sandler) and mom Bree (Idina Menzel) on board with her plan to get Olivia Rodrigo to perform at the party. Stacy’s dreams of the New York-themed bat mitzvah are encouraged the most by her best friend Lydia (Samantha Lorraine), whose own bat mitzvah is being co-planned by Stacy. Thick as thieves since they were toddlers, Stacy’s and Lydia’s lives revolve around each other. Lydia has even agreed to set up a Twizzlers booth at her bat mitzvah just for Stacy!  

But middle school drama catches on fast and ugly. When Lydia starts dating Stacy’s long-time unrequited crush Andy, Stacy declares that Lydia is no longer invited to her bat mitzvah. In heartfelt performances by both Sandler and Lorraine, each kid then sets out to define themselves individually. As Stacy’s friendship and loyalty are tested, she also faces the pressures of being responsible for her own actions.

Writer Alison Peck, adapting the script from a novel of the same name, bakes in wonderful details about what it means to come of age in 2023, and especially for a Jewish teenager. Before her bat mitzvah, Stacy is also supposed to work on a mitzvah project, something to give back to the community. While jotting down ideas for the same, Stacy wonders if making up with Lydia could count towards that. Other similar details make the film stand apart, while it continues to hit all the required beats to make for a teenage classic.

Taking us through several bat mitzvahs, as Stacy and Lydia navigate the ups and downs of their friendship, the film provides us with memorable ensemble cast performances. Through this, it also manages to broach several ideas that complement the coming-of-age genre. You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah is a funny, and unique take on a teenager reconciling their identity, with what people expect of them, while also championing the relentlessness of female friendship.

You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah is available for streaming on Netfliix